


Don't wait or say a single vow (You need to hear me out)

by meltedcapsicle (kookominie)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pining, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-29 21:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookominie/pseuds/meltedcapsicle
Summary: That could be the last time he'd see the man he loves with all his heart, and he just wanted to relish in the moment, noticing every little detail about him : his warm intelligent eyes focused on something, his thin mouth silently moving, his beard and his upturned nose and his hair now blonde and ruffled, the lines slightly marking his beautiful face.“I love you”The word were almost tumbling off his mouth.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the "last chance" square on my stony bingo card.
> 
> This is my first fill on my first bingo card, hope you enjoy!

Looking at Tony always made his heart tremble, a movement slowly expanding through his body. He always longed to touch, to bring him closer.  
Even if they had to succeed in their plan or die trying, that day was no different.  
He could remember the dryness of his mouth, his skin buzzing with need under the leather of the suit.  
It was hard to put on his mask, his fingers weren't steady enough.  
Tony was beside him, his helmet was off, his eyes were pointed in the distance and a part of Steve's mind knew he should have been afraid, but he couldn't bring himself to think about anything else. That could be the last time he'd see the man he loves with all his heart, and he just wanted to relish in the moment, noticing every little detail about him : his warm intelligent eyes focused on something, his thin mouth silently moving, his beard and his upturned nose and his hair now blonde and ruffled, the lines slightly marking his beautiful face.  
“I love you”  
The word were almost tumbling off his mouth : it was getting harder and harder to ignore the emptiness in his chest that desperately asked him to do something before it was too late. He should probably have broken the silence between them, he was wasting his time, any minute now, and they would be ready to go.  
His breath still freezes now, like it did then, when he thinks about the way Tony looked at him. He had turned to face him, visibly afraid. The need to protect him was overwhelming, Tony was unsure and seemed so small, even though he was bigger and taller than him in the suit.  
«I guess this is my last chance, Steve»  
It seemed surreal, a fantasy his desperate mind made up to sweeten the realty he was in — alone with the love of his life at arm's reach, but too far away, probably on the verge of either sacrificing himself or losing him, like many times before.  
But he felt the word whispered against his mouth, he felt Tony's breath warm on his skin and his cold, armored fingers gently cradling his face. Tony was kissing him, the pressure of his lips was so sweet and hesitant, a contrast with the scratching of his beard, his body desperately clutching at him.  
Steve deeply breathed in his scent, his fingertips uselessly trying to feel Tony's skin under his gloves. He wanted to take everything he could. But just as he was trying to put his arms around Tony's waist, to kiss him deeply or say something about his feeling, it was over.  
The team was calling for them and Tony stepped away from him, putting on his helmet and acting like he hadn't just shaken the earth underneath Steve's feet. It was too much too soon, but Steve knew they had a job to do.

  
«You're spacing out again, Steve. I'm starting to feel ignored»

His eyes widen, and he touches his lips, still tingling like it has been moments and not days from that kiss. Natasha smirks knowingly and he regrets ever telling her anything.  
The world is back on his tracks again, they won. Everything is as it was before Thanos snapped his fingers.  
Steve has still some difficulties, still feels as their lives are constantly threatened by something he can't stop, sometimes he needs his teammates to bring him back to reality, but he's fine.  
Natasha dragged him out today, said he needed to feel how warm the sun was and to see how many people were around, happy and safe. They're sitting in a cafeteria, she's pretending to read a magazine — actually studying him while sipping some iced tea, and he's doodling, avoiding her eyes.

  
«You're touching your lips, old man. Did you finally talk to him?»

Steve drops his pen, closes his sketch book filled with too many faces reassembling Tony and sighs, Natasha shakes her head before he can even say anything.

«You know I didn't, I am waiting for him to make a move. He didn't even look me in the eyes after that kiss, Tasha.»

Truth to be told, Steve is terrified of being rejected. On some level, he knows he shouldn't let the thing drop. He still doesn't know why Tony kissed him.  
Would he have kissed anyone who happened to be alone with him at the time?  
If neither of them talks about it, Steve can still pretend there's a chance Tony loves him too. He doesn't want to lose all hopes. They didn't even acknowledge that kiss, yet the ghost of Tony's lips haunts him every day.

Tony is avoiding him – he probably caught on Steve's feeling, and he is just trying to spare him a heartbreak. Or maybe, in the best hypothesis, he'll call one of these days to openly talk about their feelings and see where things could go between them.  
Don't get him wrong, Steve wants an explanation, but he's just not ready to hear him dismissing what happened, so he doesn't push it, hoping for the best.  
  
«I see» she closes the magazine, Tony's face is on the cover, smiling and Steve's heart is fool enough to start beating faster.  
«I met him and Pepper today, they wanted to talk about their marriage»

«Marriage...?»

His voice is too thin, and he can't say anything else, his head is spinning.

He didn't even consider this could happen, Tony had said things between him and Pepper ended after his return on Earth.

It makes sense, though. Tony always loved her and now that the world is at peace, he can finally have the perfect life they dreamed about.

Tony kissed him in the heat of the moment and surely he regretted it when he realized they survived. Now, he's back to his life, to his perfect fiancee that always loved him and protected him. There's no place for Steve and their little kiss in this picture.

Natasha valuates what to say next, it's probably the first time Steve sees her so blatantly hesitate. His hurting must be transparent in his features.

He didn't realize how much he was still hoping something could really happen between them, how much he valued that kiss.

«What? Do you want to do something about it?»

Steve is inexplicably angry, he just wants to tear apart the cover of the magazine, there's a picture of Pepper and Tony kissing at the bottom, now he notices.  
He feels like a child, jealous and egoistic.  
He probably didn't even deserve that kiss, if he really loved Tony he should be happy for him. He's been delusional and stupid. Why would Tony ever love someone like him?

«He kissed me.»  
He says it as this alone explains everything, like now Tony owes him something just for that. If he can't have Tony, he would at least like to hear him admit he kissed him and to know why.  
«He can't just ... go on as it nothing ever happened.»

He's appealed when he notices Natasha's approval, she's looking at him like she's satisfied of his reaction.  
Steve is not even afraid anymore, he has nothing to lose now. It's impossible Tony doesn't already know how much Steve wanted that kiss, not seeing how he trembled under his touch that day.

«You're right, Steve. You two should talk about it. He's staying at the facility.»

 

~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

  
To be honest, Steve doesn't remember the ride from the cafeteria to the compound, there were too many words going around his head, he didn't even figure out what to say when he finally parked his motorcycle.  
He still has accesses to their base, and he's immensely grateful for that.  
His heart is in his throat when he steps in the elevator, he hasn't worked up the courage to ask Friday to announce his presence to Tony yet.

Pepper is about to get out of Tony's office when he arrives and her face does a funny thing when she sees him.  
She's beautiful and elegant as always, her hair in a pony tail, her lips red and her face a little tired. Steve can picture her so well, in a white dress, walking down the aisle, Tony waiting for her at the altar. He has to stop before his heart hurts too much.

«Finally» she mutters, smiling a little and nodding at him. «You two should really talk, it's good that you didn't tell anyone you were coming, who knows what he could have done then»  
Steve is a little dumbfounded, he points at himself, making her tilt her head a little.  
«I know what happened, Steve. Tony really needs to stop hiding his head under the sand»  
She opens the door slightly and gestures for him to come closer, Steve can barely breathe thinking about the fact Tony is in that room.

«See if you can get him to rest after you sort everything out with him»  
And then she goes, like leaving his future husband alone with the man he kissed a few days ago is totally not a big deal to her. He's suddenly envious of their relationship, but he shouldn't be surprised : Tony always trusted her with his life, and she obviously does the same.

This is the last chance he gives himself to confess his love.  
He has to find some closure, somehow. Tony will be soon starting a new chapter of his life and Steve can't be stuck on that moment forever, not matter how that kiss made him feel.  
He'll ask Tony why he did that, and then he'll be honest, and they'll both go on – waiting for this confrontation has done nothing but give him useless hope.

  
He takes his time, steps slowly in the office. He knew seeing Tony's face again would probably make him go haywire, and he was not wrong.  
Tony hasn't noticed him yet, his head is lowered, he's slowly massaging his temples, his eyes closed. His red tie is undone, a few buttons of his shirt are opened, he's barefoot, and he's sitting cross-legged on the desk. He's a mess, Steve's fingers hitch with the need to pet his hair.

«I know Pep, I know, this is not the proper way a business man should sit in his office, but let's be honest, when do I ever do things properly? I just need to relax a little, all... wait, why aren't you talking over me like you always do?»

The rumble of his voice makes him smile — it's ridiculous considering how angry he was just a few minutes ago.  
He missed Tony so much these days.  
«I'm definitely not Pepper»  
Tony's eyes are huge, his long eyelashes flutter in confusion.  
«Yeah, I can see that»  
He lets his feet dangle from the desk, sitting straighter, looking at Steve up and down. «... So, I bet you want to talk about... »  
Tony gestures vaguely between them, he's uncomfortable and taken back from his visit, that much is obvious. It seems he's looking for a way out. Steve winces, trying to stay calm and not let anything stop him.

«We can't go on like these, avoiding each other. It won't make the elephant in the room suddenly disappear.»

Tony doesn't meet his eyes, his stare pointed somewhere behind him, as if he's the one who's waiting to get his heart smashed. His posture is emanating self-confidence, but it's forced and fake. Steve is surprised by how he can easily read Tony now : it would have been impossible for him to do so, just a few months ago.

«I thought things were getting better between us, I don't want to lose this again»

His voice sounds way too whiny and distraught, his face must be no better. He didn't intend to appear so pitiful, but it's too late, Tony is already looking at him with softer eyes, lifting his lips in a weak smile.

«I know, it's my fault, I shouldn't have done it»

Steve always underestimate Tony's influence on him. The regret in the other man's voice pained him in a way he didn't expect, he thought he was ready to hear those words.

«It's ... okay. I'm not mad at you» he babbles, his face warming in shame, he tries to do something with his arms, failing uselessly at his sides.

It's not what he came here to say and it's not even completely true, but Tony seems relieved.

«Natasha told me ... you talked about... » he points at Tony's hand, where there should be a ring soon «and... J just wanted to fix things between us»

Tony covers his eyes with that hand, his shoulders moving a little, he's chuckling but it's humorless.

«Yeah, it's always Natasha» he murmurs, his tongue clicking when he shows his face again, but he briefly looks up at the ceiling. «I'm sorry, it was very shitty for me to only think about my feelings and wishes and ignore yours»

Steve nods a little, they're both awkward at this. Communication is not their strength and it's a miracle they've now learned how to speak their mind without yelling at each other's face.  
He takes a few step closer, gathering the courage to go on.

«I never told you anything about my feelings, I guess it's my fault too. It's okay, I won't take you accountable for something you did in the heat of the moment»

Tony raises an eyebrow, his expression and posture changing drastically. He's confused and maybe a little annoyed, Steve is at loss.

«Don't say that, Steve. If Nat told you everything, you know what I truly want»

Steve nods again, because it's the only thing he can do to respond to that. He clenches his fists, he doesn't know why Tony has to be so harsh with him.

«I'm not here to ruin your happiness, okay? I swear I will be happy for you, but I can't ignore that kiss, Tony. It was important to me»

Tony crosses his arms on his chest, his expression thunderous, he opens his mouth but then freezes, gaping.  
«Wait, what?» He's practically squealing, Steve can see his lips moving, repeating the words he just said, only slowly.

«What the hell are you talking about? Why was it important to you?»

Steve widens his arms, a little exasperated with him. He shouldn't be, because he never clearly stated his feeling, but Tony acted like he knew already.  
There's no use in hesitating, he's making a fool of himself since he stepped in this room.

«Because I wanted to kiss you for ages?»

Tony puts his feet on the ground, invades his personal space in a few seconds. Steve is overwhelmed by his smell and closeness, how is he supposed to tell him anything if he can't even concentrate long enough to put two words together?  
Tony is smaller than him, but always fills all the space surrounding him to Steve, he's the only thing he can fixate on.

«Since when?!»

«Since the first time I saw your face? When you opened up your helmet in front of me the very first time.»

He's being a little dramatic, but he's always been attracted to Tony — he was always torn between the desire to hit him and the need to kiss him up against a wall, to be honest.  
«Love came a little later» he whispers then.  
Apparently the filter between his mind and his mouth is broken, but it's not like he was planning to keep it a secret.  
He could have been at least a little bit more romantic, but there's no need in trying to impress Tony, he has no chances to get him in the end.

«What are you doing, mh?»

Tony's arm shakes a little when he puts a hand under his chin. He can't ignore his fingers holding his jaws, forcing him to look up. Not because of their strength, but for their gentleness. — he was avoiding his stare : he didn't want to see Tony's disgust or pity.  
There's a heat in Tony's eyes, so strong that Steve shivers, feeling it in his guts too. His cheeks redden for another reason altogether.  
He'd like to ask Tony the same, what the hell is he doing?

«Don't play with me»  
Steve doesn't even know if he really said that, it seemed impossible to breathe, let alone moving his lips. He's pleading, but he doesn't care.

Another meaningless kiss could break him for good, but he's aching for Tony's mouth.

Tony grins a little, his thumb caressing Steve's bottom lip. He has to close his eyes because it's too much.  
It's no use, Tony's presence is everything he can perceive at this moment. He's aware of his every little movement, the raising of his chest against his included.  
There's a weight on his feet, then, and he realizes Tony is standing on them, to have some leverage.  
Steve would smile about it if he wasn't slowly dying inside from the need.

«I never did»

He's whispering against his ear, that day he did the same. Steve gasp when he's aware of sharp teeth nipping tenderly at his chin.  
He doesn't know what to do with those words, can't figure out what he means, it's hard to put all the pieces together with Tony's face so close to his.  
Tony kisses him, a soft, shy moan escaping from his mouth, shutting down all his thoughts.  
His hands are a little rough, calloused, warm and so different from his armor — they keep wandering on his face, his neck, his shoulders and collarbones, leaving warm trail behind.  
Steve's fingers are in Tony's hair before he can think about it, feeling everything he couldn't last time.  
Tony has to stand on his tiptoes to find a better angle to kiss him, he's adorable : he makes frustrated noises trying to bring him down to his level. Steve chuckles delighted, even if he's already out of breath, and puts and arm under Tony's ass, raising him from the ground.  
The other man inhales sharply, his hands clutching at Steve's shirt. He pulls back to give him an impressed look.  
Tony's shirt is crumpled, his blond hair are going in every direction, his lips are shiny from the kiss. His eyes are restless, happy, his pupils blown wide.  
Steve takes a deep breath, rests his forehead against Tony's collarbone, the sight stir something deep inside of him.

But his brain catches up with reality.

«We ... can't. Natasha told me about the marriage and you said that's what you wanted. We can't do this»

Tony is dazed, looking at his lips, his fingers caressing Steve's hair in a way that almost makes his brain useless. He's undisturbed, still content from the kiss, and he looks like he's enjoying being in his arms.

«Who cares. You know what I want? You»  
He tries to kiss him again and Steve is so weak that he almost lets him, his knees buckling. Tony doesn't relent, nosing at his neck, putting his lips on it and making Steve's life very difficult.

«This is not funny, Tony»

He should be so angry right now, but instead he's holding him closer. He can't keep from moaning a little when Tony bites down on his skin.  
His mind is so fogged up by the lust, he was giddy with desire just a few moments ago. A selfish, stupid part of him just wants to have this, without thinking about the consequences.

«I know, my mind can't think about funny things with you holding me like this»

«What about Pepper, Tony?»

«She won't come back, I promise, we're safe, we can do whatever we want to...»

Steve freezes again, trying to put some distance between them, even if his body is begging him not to. He can't do this, he can't be Tony's little dirty secret.

He said everything he had to say, now he should go.

«I won't let you use me and cheat on her, Tony, I'm sorry. I love you, but I have some dignity left. I don't want to ruin your happiness»

He slowly lets Tony sit on his desk again, he fixes his shirt, caress his hair trying to reshape it a little bit, everything to delay the moment he won't touch him anymore.  
He steps away and Tony grips his arm, bewildered and disappointed.

«Wait, what exactly Natasha told you? This doesn't make sense»

Steve flinches at the touch, he's still hot and bothered and not even remotely sure he was doing the right thing and Tony asking him to stay doesn't make it easier.

«That you, her and Pepper talked about the marriage»

Tony laughs and pulls his arm, his eyes sparkling. Steve goes pliantly, narrowing his eyes at Tony's strange reaction. He ends up between Tony's thighs, Tony's hand stroking his back to calm him down.

«... We talked about all the news regarding our marriage and how to better announce everyone the annulment of our engagement.»

Steve realizes then that Natasha never truly explained what she meant — her words were vague and her behavior suspicious. He'd have noticed if only he wasn't so focused on Tony and his feeling.

«That little shit. She PLAYED me. I was heart broken and confused, she just wanted me to talk to you»

«Thank god!» Tony's fingers play with the hem of his shirt, he sighs. «Come here, let me mend your poor broken heart»  
Tony kisses him on the lips, but then starts peppering his face with tiny little kisses. His hands are groping Steve's ass, though.

«So when you said it was your last chance, you meant... so you... why didn't you... oh my god. What did you think Natasha told me?»

It's stupid to ask something and try to have a conversation with Tony, so intent in feeling every part of his body with his hands and lips. Not that Steve minds, but he's puzzled.

«Ssh» Tony rests his head on his chest,  
grinning and blushing in a way that makes Steve's heart melt.  
The other man holds him, humming under his breath, content, his hands never leaving his ass.  
He's sweet and bashful, and he's driving him insane at the same time.  
Steve probably should be irritated by all his fixation on his butt cheeks when they're having their first romantic moment, but he doesn't care : Tony's touch always feel good.

«I love you, Steve Rogers. I'm so glad we're both alive and that you love me too. I was terrified you were disgusted by that kiss, you didn't even move»  
Steve open his mouth to protest, he was just shocked, Tony silences him with a tiny kiss «I'll send Natasha a bouquet made up of knives or something, I love her. This morning, I told her how much I loved you and how I thought you hated me after that kiss and she sends you to me.»

«We're both idiots» Steve puts his hand on either side of Tony's legs, confining him in his arms. He brushes his lips against Tony's again, feeling how soft they are. «but I love you too, I can't even get mad at Natasha for lying to me»

They lose themselves in their kisses,more languid and slow than before, but always heated.

«We should go to bed, Tony» he murmurs, his hands feeling Tony's warm skin under the shirt.

«So forward of you, I love it. » he bites teasingly on Steve's bottom lip, smirking. «C'mon, take me to bed, handsome. It's so sexy when you lift me up»

He rolls his eyes when Tony waggles his eyebrows, but he's very tempted to do as he asks.

«To sleep, Tony, you have dark circles under your eyes»  
He kisses his temple to sweeten the pill, taking him in his arms just because he wants to. Tony's bedroom is not too far away from his office and no one was around. Tony holds onto him.

«Wait » He looks up at him hopefully, tightening his legs around his waist. «You mean you'll fuck me and then I'll sleep soundly and contently forever?»  
He knows Tony wouldn't push him so much and that he's mostly jocking but he shivers, making him smirk.

«No, I meant you'll sleep. I'll hold you all night long and then ,maybe, you'll fuck me in the morning»  
He hopes he's not blushing too much, but Tony caresses his cheeks fascinated, so he failed at keeping his cool.

«Jesus, you're perfect at this, Rogers. Watch me have a perfect sleep schedule for the first time in years.» Steve can't help but laugh, carrying Tony out of the room, he kisses his head so more, Tony purrs.

«So glad I took my chance that day»

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat texts Steve!

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> As always, come and say hi on my [ Tumblr ](http://meltedcapsicle.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> As always, thank you so much to my lovely [ Youacciomyheart ](http://mockingjayisinging-blog.tumblr.com)


End file.
